We all had a great time hanging out today. After everyone left, I remembered that I didn't exercise but I remembered to eat things I shouldn't-- so, it was time to exercise. While I was in the pool, I got some time to think. Livy Lu was inside on the computer (apparently trying to chat with people she doesn't know but I know them) and I had about a half hour of alone time. I thought about my day but the thing that stuck out is why I was exercising. Yes, my health... yes, my weight.... but, something else was in the forefront of my mind-- the outcome of if I stay faithful to doing this.
I guess this is a little profound to me because I find myself feeling like Paul (from the Bible) a lot. The things that I do not want to do-- I do. The things that I want to do-- I don't do. There is a part of me that would like to say, "SEE... even Paul is a screw up!!"-- but then, the other part of me begs to become disciplined. Yeah, I said it... disciplined! There is a part of me that is begging to be responsible... to be someone that God Himself can trust with anything.
I am the least likely to want any sort of discipline.... but I find myself WANTING it? It is such a different and strange feeling. The reason for this post is not to talk about my weight... it's not to discuss some deep meaning of life... it's not to even make fun of the fat lady that was wearing spandex shorts at the store yesterday... it's because I figured out that somewhere along the way-- I WANT the things that I have been against my entire life!
I would like to explain more-- but, as I understand it... I might write about it more. But, at this time, I am still perplexed myself! (What a surprise!)
No Worries
Ray
Really good one rach! really good. i love ya! -jenny f
ReplyDeleteWell spoken, I definitely feel ya on this one! I would like to be more disciplined on even mundane things like being a better cleaner! haha
ReplyDeletegreat post! Rachel, you are an awesome writer! When you write a book, I will buy it for sure!! I need discipline too! Someone on Rachel Ray, the other day said that our brain reacts to sweets just like it does to cocaine, our brain really changes with the addiction! I gotta get sober from sugar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteVery insightful Paul, oops I mean Ray! I want to be disciplined too.. but it's torture! haha I love these posts! very encouraging and thought provoking! -Rachel R
ReplyDeletevery interesting...and funny (spandex thing hehe)..and serious..and insightful...and inspiring..I get tired of myself too and want to change.. Myself (and others) find honesty and realness refreshing and inspiring..Thanks Ray
ReplyDeleteRachel, what can I say that the others haven't already said. We all need to be disciplined, its true, with one thing or another. You are a smart girl and I knew that you would come around to this way of thinking eventually, and I am happy and proud of you. And I love you but I still want to move to Alabama (in response to your comment on my post).
ReplyDeleteWell, thanks guys/gals. Sometimes I wonder if I should tame the things that I choose to write about-- maybe I shouldn't be so transparent (as some people use the things they know against that person)... but then I remember that I don't care! HA! I figure it this way-- I have done soooo many wrong things in my life... if the biggest thing someone has against me is a deeper look into my eyes via a blog post... then I am doing exactly what He wants me to.
ReplyDeleteThank you all for the kind words. Sometimes we all need to know that there are people from our past that don't hate you... rather encourage you and love you. I feel very loved tonight. I also feel like a big mush pot and now I feel the need for a long shower!
XOXOXOXO
Well Rachel,as always,your blog speaks directly to my heart. I too am very proud of you. As a writer you are very talented, as a minister of God ,you are a willing vessel whom God is using tremendously. Keep the posts coming. Love ya Lots MOM:)
ReplyDeleteMother... thanks for the comment... though I'm pretty sure you have lost my phone number.
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