Sunday, April 26, 2015

Happy Birthday Pop

So, this is the first birthday without you. You would have been 64 years old. I imagine the phone call that we would have had today.... it would have included me telling you how old you're getting and asking you what you wanted. Of course, you would tell me that you wanted nothing but you would have had some smart and sarcastic remark about me teasing you about your age.
So, I'm taking Olivia to Niagara Falls today. It was one of the best times I can recall us having and it will serve as a remembrance moment for us in the process.
I pray that God helps my brother and sister through today. We all may put a brave face on but, in all honesty, this entire situation has broken our spirits to the very core.

Happy Birthday Pop...
Love you ❤

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Thank You For The Pain

Learning to live again.... learning to love again is something that seems like an impossible task. As I learn to adjust to my new reality, it is always something that reminds me of the worst day of my life. Something always reminds me... something always triggers the tears that sting.
Having said that... I will also say this... I have learned to lean on God (my Heavenly Father) like never before. I cry and I "tell Him all about it." I tell Him how much I miss my dad. I tell Him how I need to know where my dad will spend eternity. I tell Him how I feel like dying on some days to escape from the pain. I also tell Him how grateful I am to Him that He allowed me to have my dad for the time that He did. I thank God that He will teach me to help others through this experience. I thank God that He has allowed me to feel pain (in this way) so that I can relate to Him better, concerning Salvation and the cross.
I love my dad... but more than that, I love God.
Ray ❤