Wednesday, January 28, 2015
I do not know how this is ever going to feel better. My dad and I had many problems in the past. But, in the past 5 year, or so, we have made so many leaps and bounds towards a normal and healthy relationship. Right now, I am supposed to be writing his eulogy, but I don't want to have to do that so I am doing everything possible to dodge that task.
Please pray for me as I am not doing well at all.
I usually sign off as "No Worries".... but that would seem just wrong to me right now.... so, I'll try this.
Love you Dad
Monday, January 26, 2015
I was consumed with school work and all that goes with it... until the afternoon of the 22nd. My phone rang and there was a woman that said I needed to get to the hospital immediately. I wasn't sure why but I threw my shoes on and got there ASAP. I walked up and saw the EMS doing CPR on someone.... I immediately went into tears and I buckled to the ground. THAT WAS MY DAD!
Without going into detail, after an hour and a half of them trying to get his heart beating again... he passed away.
I have never felt pain like this in my life. I am devestated. I am perplexed and grieving. I can't sleep... I can't eat... I'm numb... yet the pain pierces through the numb feeling and the sobbing starts again.
Nothing feels important anymore. I feel lost. I want my daddy back.