Let's Act Like It

Today the United States Supreme Court ruled that same-sex marriage is now legal and should be recognized in every state of the United States. As a Christian, I believe a certain way and that would ultimately go against legalizing same-sex marriage BUT.... my job as a Christian is not to inflict pain on others because we feel and believe differently. My job is to show love to every person around me. My job is to pray for my enemies... and my enemies are not gay people. They are usually Christians that are rude and nasty to people just because they think they are better somehow.  I love people... I don't take personal issue with whom they decide to sleep with. I think that if we could leave the judgments to the judge (God)... we would all be in a better place with one another.

What I DO take a HUGE stand on is racism. I am not talking about the little jokes here and there from people that you hear from time to time.... I am talking about the people that are standing on stages in public calling for the killing of someone just because of the color of their skin. I do not hold deep beliefs for my race. I hold deep beliefs for human beings. I wish it were different.... but it just isn't. 

God made us all.... we all sin... we all need Jesus... let's act like it.

No Worries

Ray

In The Moment

Since my dad's passing, I have learned some pretty difficult lessons. I have learned things that I never wanted to learn. I have felt pain that I didn't know was possible. Having said that, I have also learned some lessons that were meant to learn in my life.

At first, the grief counselor asked me to find positive things about his death. I thought that she was crazy and insensitive. I remember telling her what I thought of her at that moment as well. She didn't waiver or get upset with me. She encouraged me to look for the positive even if it felt impossible. Now that the 2 month mark is almost here, I have found some positive points about the situation... not his death... but the situation that I found myself in after his death.

I have learned that even though I made HUGE mistakes after his death, I also have shown growth and strength as well. I have found a deeper love for people and God. I have found that I stop more often to look at the trees swaying in the breeze... not because I am planning on being a meteorologist... but because I take the time to appreciate the wind and the trees. I appreciate the moment that I am in. Let me be clear... I do not always LIKE the moment that I am experiencing... but I am learning to appreciate that I am still alive to experience it at all.

I love my dad... and miss him terribly. I also love those people that I come in contact with and cherish the time that I still have with them.

Ray 

Smaller Portions Is The Trick.... I Think....

I am reading all these books that are making me continually be in an attitude of self-introspection. It makes me look at my motives and intentions. I am trying to do what I can to live my life but somehow, this has been very hard on me. It is difficult to admit fault in any area of my life. I suppose that would be my pride rearing its head up in my life. On the other hand, I do try and change what I can when confronted with something that wouldn’t be pleasing to God. As I read these books, I feel like each book has 10 or more things that I must master or, at the very least, get out of my life completely. I feel like there are many good things that these books can convey but maybe in a smaller portion.

No Worries

Ray

I Know I Know.... But I'm Scared

I am a Christian. As a Christian, I have been taught that I should go to church regularly to "fellowship" with other believers. I have been a Christian for quite some time, so I have been involved in plenty of the church politics that are involved. I have seen people rise from the preverbal ashes and then I have also seen the mighty fall from grace. There was a time in my life that when someone fell, it would rock my faith. I would look suspiciously at all Christians. I felt like everyone was being fake or were hiding some huge secret sin that would ultimately end up hurting me all over again. So, I stayed away. I still read the Bible at home… I still tried to be loving to those around me… I still believed that Jesus died on the cross and rose again…. But the church part was not a part of my life. For a long time, it didn’t bother me at all. I knew all the problems that I was not having to see and be touched by. I knew the negative would not be able to affect me as long as I wasn’t there.

Here’s the problem that I have now. All of a sudden, I am studying to be a psychologist while minoring in Christian counseling. Do you see the problem yet? I want to counsel and help people but those are the exact people that I am afraid to be around! Now, let me be clear… I do not think that it is every Christian. I do not think that it is even MOST Christians… but the ones that screw up REALLY know how to do it well. My major problem is with the Pastors. I am supposed to submit to their authority and I don’t know their personal lives well enough to actually extend any type of trust.

I know, I know…. Just ask God to direct me. I know…. Just go somewhere until I learn about the pastor. I know… just worry about myself. I know… don’t let the past dictate the future. I know I know I know I know…. But it is difficult to tell your heart to open up again.

No Worries

Ray

Needing A Nap On The Battlefield

I am not perfect. I do not claim to be in any area of my life. Lately, I have noticed that there has been some areas of my life that I took pride in and I have let those areas either suffer or die all together. I guess life has just got the best of me in those areas. 

I am finally not having issues with my daughter.... she seems to be doing what she needs to do correctly. I can say that I have been able to take a breath of fresh air in the parenting area. 

The issues that have crept up now are all me. I cannot blame anyone else. I cannot say that anyone else has had a hand in the demise of these areas. What areas? My spiritual life. I am NOT saying that I don't believe in Jesus or God. I am NOT saying that I am turning my back on the entire Christian life... I am saying that I feel like I wounded soldier and I feel like laying on the battlefield of life and just taking a nap.... 

Yeah, I know... I am not being a giant of faith.... maybe not... what I DO know is that I am being human. 

No Worries

Ray

Angelo and Paula Musicaro

So, there he is. Pastor Angelo Musicaro (of Oasis Christian Fellowship) in a casket. He decided this was a good way to get people to think about what really counts... and as the Facebook comments will show: He did exactly that. Usually, I try and write about myself... but this time, I am going to write about him and his wife.

This is a guy that won't quit on people. He doesn't throw people away. How do I know? Because he never threw me away! His wife, Paula, and him are such incredible people. I normally am not one to brag on other's... probably because I am not a fan of blowing smoke, ya know? But, in this case, I have no smoke to blow! They both make an impact of lives everyday and expect nothing back. They both just want people to be OK and want them to go on with God.

They have counseled with me countless times... at the church, at their house, on the phone, and through the Internet. They don't care what time it is... (well, I think they do a little because they need sleep too!!)... but they are there to help no matter when... even IF their tired.

I know that Angelo gets a lot of praise from many individuals... and he deserves every bit of it. The person that I see that should openly get insane amounts of praise is his wife, Paula. I speak with her far more than Angelo. When he is unavailable- she'll talk to me and just be encouraging. We can laugh and joke... or cry and pray. It doesn't matter to her if I'm confessing my faults, if I am smokin' mad at something, or if I just want to laugh a bit at crazy things that I saw that day. They don't ever judge the package... they are only worried about the contents of the package.

So, this is my "scratch-the-surface" tribute to them. I could write all day about them... but, that's not something that they would want. They are some of the most caring individuals I know... and I am privileged to call them my Pastors... and my friends.

No Worries

Ray