In The Moment

Since my dad's passing, I have learned some pretty difficult lessons. I have learned things that I never wanted to learn. I have felt pain that I didn't know was possible. Having said that, I have also learned some lessons that were meant to learn in my life.

At first, the grief counselor asked me to find positive things about his death. I thought that she was crazy and insensitive. I remember telling her what I thought of her at that moment as well. She didn't waiver or get upset with me. She encouraged me to look for the positive even if it felt impossible. Now that the 2 month mark is almost here, I have found some positive points about the situation... not his death... but the situation that I found myself in after his death.

I have learned that even though I made HUGE mistakes after his death, I also have shown growth and strength as well. I have found a deeper love for people and God. I have found that I stop more often to look at the trees swaying in the breeze... not because I am planning on being a meteorologist... but because I take the time to appreciate the wind and the trees. I appreciate the moment that I am in. Let me be clear... I do not always LIKE the moment that I am experiencing... but I am learning to appreciate that I am still alive to experience it at all.

I love my dad... and miss him terribly. I also love those people that I come in contact with and cherish the time that I still have with them.

Ray