I will be 30 this year. I had all these hopes and dreams when I was younger. I am happy that some of them did not come to pass. Then, there are some things that I am very proud of in my life... like my daughter. I would be a liar if I said that I am happy though. This is something that I am not. I spend all my time at work. I am always trying to make enough money to buy Olivia clothes and shoes. I need to make enough money so that the bills get paid. As I look around the environment of my life, I can't help but see that I am not that successful person that I thought that I would be by now.
I am trying to be content with who I am and what I have... but it is something that is difficult to do. I think Facebook and all social media make it almost impossible to be content. I see pictures of people going on vacations... buying new vehicles... going out with their families to dinner and then something else fun.... and when I see things like that, all I really feel is that I am very happy for them... yet, very upset for Olivia and myself. I wish I could do things like that... but, to be honest, I do not have the money to do things like that. Even if I saved the money... I am part-time at Walmart (32-38 hours a week)... so, I do not get paid time off.
I hate this rat race... but I am grateful I have a job at all. I just wish that I would make more money... I wish that I would have planned better with my money that I had in the past.
I guess you can't cry over spilled milk OR money spent.