There are people that believe in something called no punishment parenting. I have a list of why this rubs me the wrong way, so to speak... but I will just TRY and stay on topic. I do not want to point fingers and say that they are totally wrong. I also will not say that I agree 100%.
Children CRAVE discipline, boundaries, and stability. By discipline, I do not mean 100% of the time, spanking a child. Sometimes discipline comes in the form of a talk.... sometimes getting something taken away... sometimes a time out.... and yes, sometimes a swat on the butt!
I have found that too many parents are concerned with being their children's friend and not their parent. I am not concerned with how my daughter feels about my decision to let her do this one specific "cool" thing.... I am concerned with the outcome of her entire life. I would rather make an unpopular decision in her eyes now... than have her look back when she was 30 and ask why I let her be involved in nonsense.
IT IS OKAY TO TELL THEM NO!
Children NEED to know that the word NO will be said more than the word YES in real, adult life. One must prepare their children for the up's and the down's... they have to prepare them to fight and work for things. Instead, we have parents that think they should NEVER tell their children NO about anything. "Let them decide.... It's their life... It's their body...." THAT IS NONSENSE! If someone really felt like that, they should have let them run in the street every time they got close when a car was coming. By their way of thinking, they do not see discipline as a way to protect, teach, and raise a child. They see it as being mean and aggressive. GUESS WHAT??? If my daughter is doing something that might hurt her, I might just get aggressive in my tone... I might jerk her out of the road before the car gets there... and guess what?? SHE MIGHT CRY and BE ANGRY at me.... but, in the end, she will figure out one day that I had to protect her. Sometimes I am protecting her from others. Sometimes, when I am angry, I walk away from the situation... and this is an example of protecting her from me. But MOST of the time... I discipline her, in one form or another, because I am protecting her from HERSELF!
Is it okay to have fun? Yes. Is it okay to laugh and joke around? Yes. Is it okay to teach them the things you know they will need to know later in life? Yes.
Parenting is one of the greatest gifts that God has given us to do... I am afraid that too many people these days are treating it like they were given a dog that bites back when told no.... versus being given a human being that needs protection.
Click HERE to read about the type of parenting I am talking about.