Liar- Liar- Pants On Fire

I feel like the last few months have been some sort of boot camp training for parenting in the teen years. I thought that I had nipped a few things in the butt (literally)... I thought we were done with the phase... but we're not.

I got Olivia's report card yesterday-- but I knew she got great grades so I let her go over her grandma's house before looking at it. Last night, I forgot to look at it... but today- the light bulb came on and I went to get it. I opened it up in some weird frenzy... I saw A... A... A... A... A... A... B. I didn't like the B- especially because she is not in gifted anymore... if you can get straight A's in gifted then you should ACE regular school. But, I didn't even have time to process all that information because my attention was drawn to the outer comment box....

"34 MISSING HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENTS"

I've got to be reading this wrong... I took another glance... Nope... my eyes are not deceiving me. I automatically assume that there is a typo. I call Olivia at her grandma's house to see what could have happened.

"Hi Mommy... whatcha doing?" Olivia's sweet little voice comes over the phone and I can't help but smile. I answer her question, "I just got done looking at your report card." She says, "Oh yeah?? Are you proud of me?" I now KNOW that this MUST be a mistake... as she had no fear in her voice.

I then begin to discuss the "typo" with her. I quickly realize that she is hiding something. She starts pausing when trying to answer my questions about homework. She agreed that it MUST be a typo. But, my mommy-dar went off and I continued to probe into her answers... then the story changes ever-so-slightly... but enough to tell me that she is not telling me the whole truth. I again ask about the homework but this time, I word it a little differently and throw in that I think I want to call her teacher on Monday... BAM... here comes the truth.

When I asked her every single day if she had homework she ALWAYS replied, "Yes, I did... but I already did it in school." I never thought that the words that were coming out of her mouth were lies. I never thought that MY daughter would lie straight to my face.... furthermore, I NEVER thought that she would be able to lie and I not know immediately about it. I was so wrong. I wish I wasn't... but I was so very wrong.

She lied to me. She lied every single day when she said she did it at school. She lied when she said she thought it was a typo... she lied when she said she MUST have thrown it out when she was cleaning the room... she lied... she lied... and she lied some more.

I am so mad... but more than that.. I am so hurt. I am disappointed. I have raised a liar? I'm not a liar... how could this have happened right under my nose? If this is any indication as to my parenting skills... I am in big trouble.

I've never dealt with this type of situation before. Ugh...

The silver lining? She missed 34 homework assignments and STILL managed to get all A's and one B. But I would rather her fail every class and be honest... but that may be just me.

No Worries

Ray

I've Given Birth To A What??

2011 is here. How in the world did we get here so soon? I remember trying to make deals with God when I was younger... "God, please let me drive a car before you come back... God, please let me graduate before you come back..." Now, I have my own 9 year old that is making the same deals with Him. It is the strangest feeling.

So, my daughter is now 9... as of New Year's Eve 2010.... and this is the last year in single digits. I look at my growing girl as she begs for "big girl" stuff. I couldn't bring myself to buy her a training bra... but her Grandma sure could. When my daughter put it on... well, she seemed like she was glowing. I try and think of a time that I LOVED wearing one... and I come up empty every time. I try and fling that thing off at every chance I get... geeze, a girl has to have some freedom, right? But not my lil one... she is so excited.

I understand that is isn't status quo for me to talk about my daughter or my undergarments... but I said all of that to say this one thing. My baby isn't a baby anymore. She will ALWAYS be my baby... but there is something about my child that is growing up... she is still a cuddle bug... she still tells me that she loves me... but I know that sooner or later she will become one of those crazy beasts I've seen on tv.... you know what I mean, right? A TEENAGER!!!!

I am NOT ready for this.... and I will end this entry like I do every other one... but believe me... I don't mean it this time.

No Worries

Ray

UnMerry Christmas

I am still unemployed. I can't stand the feeling that I cannot provide for my daughter like I should be able to. It cuts me to the deepest part of my soul. I can't do anything about it though... I have applied and reapplied to every job that I could possibly think of... yes, even McDonald's... no dice.

I guess this is just something that I am going to have to endure for a little while longer. I have no idea what to do at this point. Olivia will not be getting anything but a package of silly bands from me... this sucks.

Plenty of Worries

Ray

No More Singing Phone Number

I don't like change. I never have. I don't even like it when it's time to move the furniture around at holiday time. It almost unnerves me. Today, I was going to make a phone call and I was surprisingly routed to T-Mobile. They said that there was "high usage" on my account so they needed to speak with me. This came as a HUGE surprise to me. I didn't do anything that I didn't normally do this month... I just paid the bill... what in the world could be the problem?

I speak to someone and they tell me why my account has been suspended... wait, suspended? What the heck for? They tell me that all the international calls are adding up and I need to make a 25% payment for my phone (and the 4 other lines on the account) to be turned back on. ABORT MISSION!!! WHAT INTERNATIONAL CALLS? I was going to make a joke about the only international calls that I make are when I call the Medicaid office and I am outsourced... but I was in freak out mode... so I decided to leave that part out of it.

The customer service rep then explained the calls and the light bulb went off in my head... I had let someone use my phone to call someone in the army... WHO KNEW THEY WERE IN AFGHANISTAN??? So, he threw the total out there and my heart broke.

I have had my phone number for a long time... I like it... it's easy to remember... you can almost sing a song when reciting it... 352... 678.... 7874.... But that was about to change....

"Rachel, the total is $2900... but I can get that down to $2400 for you today." He might as well have said a million dollars. I am now trying to figure out what I am going to do. I have filled out soooo many applications for jobs and NOW THE NUMBER IS WRONG!!! I don't have a house phone...

Needless to say, I don't think I will ever let anyone touch my phone again... I guess I am going to have to go with AT&T but the problem is that WE JUST PAID THE CURRENT BILL!!! I COULD HAVE KEPT THE $269!!!

Moral of the story? I would rather move furniture every single day... than have this happen.

No Worries

Ray

Zero Comments

Well, I was keeping up with this journal at first. I was writing in it at least once a day. I looked forward to the comments that I got on a variety of topics. But, life got a little crazy. My internet got shut off for a bit because I didn't have the money to pay it... and then when I got connected again, I had college and job hunting to do... so, I neglected this poor page.

I started to notice though... because I got to vent some of the most personal thoughts that someone can have. It started to bother me... so, I tried my hand at it again. I started writing again. This time it was different. I posted my journal entry onto my facebook page and I would feverishly check the comment section... nope... nothing.

So, after a few entries went by like that-- I figured that no one was reading it. Then again, I also get a hit counter and was positive that no one was. How could I be so dumb? I finally found something that I enjoyed... I found something that made me feel like I was connected to more than the fat on my... well, my everywhere....

Moral of the story? When you find something that does well for you and you neglect it... don't expect it to work anymore.

No Worries

Ray

Melinda

Well, what can I say? I have no substantial words to express how I am feeling right now. Melinda died yesterday. She leaves behind a son, family, and countless friends. It is heartbreaking... I sat by my fire pit last night and all I could think is how she will never laugh again... she will never smile again... she will never do anything again.

I would write more but I can't come to terms with all this death lately.

No Worries

Ray

Moody with a Chance of Zits

You ever come across a person that is moody at all times of the day? Doesn't it make you want to run in the other direction? Or is that just me? The problem with the person that I am talking about is that it is my daughter. She is 8.. almost 9 years old. I see the little zit on her forehead and my blood pressure rises about 100 points or so. I see her getting more emotional than in the days past and I am just not sure what to do. She thinks that her opinion of life, love, and the pursuit of happiness is relevant every single time I tell her to do something.

Don't mistake this as me saying my daughter is out of control... or just a bad kid.... that she is not. She is mostly respectful (yes sir... yes ma'am.) She still hugs and kisses me and tells me that she loves me everyday. This morning she knew that I wasn't feeling well so she got herself ready for school and only woke me up when it was time to go to the bus. She is an independent child. She is so loving and courteous.

It's just that in the past month or so, she has been a walking... TALKING... pain in my rear. I know, I sound pretty crazy... but this parenting thing is kicking my tail. My daughter, on the other hand, is acting like she wants me to kick HER tail.

No Worries

Ray