Dear J,
I needed to tell you a few things. I still love you. You have always been and forever are the man that holds my heart. We spent so much time together in the past. I remember when I would wake up in the morning and you would already have fresh bread waiting for me. I always enjoyed that time that we spent together the most.
I remember when you would protect me from anyone that tried to harm me. You always made sure that I was ok. You made sure that I knew that there was nothing, not even giving your own life that you wouldn’t do for me.
Do you remember when we would sit and talk outside when I sat next to the fire? I know that there were some times that I would drink too much—and even though you didn’t like me to do that, you would still be right by my side. You would still talk me through the rough spots.
I needed to tell you that I am not sure if we can ever be together again… I would like to try, but I don’t think that I am ready right now. I hope that the time comes that we can at least start talking again… then maybe we can communicate enough to rekindle this relationship.
I know that I broke up with you over your family… I don’t think that it was the right thing to do—but I hope that you understand that you have some people in your family that are just nuts. Even though I know and trust that you would have eventually stepped in and set things straight with them… the pressure that they were creating was unbearable. I understand that I didn’t talk to you about it before I left you—but I hope that you understand that I was just trying to save myself before they totally destroyed me.
I am still afraid of what your family can do to someone like me. If the time comes that we both can come together in a relationship, I hope that you can talk to them in a convincing manner and let them know that I am not up for sacrifice. I want them to know that I may not be someone that has been in your life for a long time… but if we get back together, I want you to make it clear that I am just as important to you as they are.
If you want to talk to me about this… you know where I will be. And again, thank you for who you are… because even though I am afraid of being back in a relationship with you… I still love you… and I know that you will always love me too.
Ray Ray
i accidentally somehow ran across your blogs and for the last 40 mins i've just been here reading them and going through them. Maybe because i connect and feel what you are saying so much that that is what has sucked me in and has attracted me to reading all you have to say. We dont know each other but you are a true inspiration. i can sense you have a heart of gold and i just wanted to say thank you for sharing all of your thoughts and putting evrything on your mind out there for the whole world to see. i wish you the best in life, good karma will soon come your way, i just have a strong feeling about it.
ReplyDelete" The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched... but are felt in the heart. "
Helen Keller
Well, I appreciate all of your comments. I am the type of person to lay my heart right out there. I figure that there is no better way to live. I hope that I can say something to someone that can make a difference. I want to LIVE not just BREATHE.
ReplyDelete;)
No Worries
Ray