One Hundred Pounds

So, if you have seen me in the last 9 years- you know that I have gained A LOT of weight. Most of the time I end up making jokes that are EXTREMELY inappropriate about myself to take the edge off of how I really feel about it. But, this year is going to be different.

I started eating healthy and counting calories. I am eating about 6 times a day now. I eat even when I am not hungry. The difference is now I am eating broccoli and carrots for my snacks instead of whatever I was eating before. I have "cheated" a couple times... but having said that, I am not going to live my life and say I am NEVER going to eat things that are bad for me ever again. I had pizza last night and today I walked it off. I eat MOSTLY healthy. I usually don't go out to eat but when I do- I pick the healthy choices. I also don't feel the need to pick something that has the food because now I eat so much-- I have no need to eat a lot at ANY time of the day.

So, I eat egg whites and turkey sausage with no fat cheese and 1/2 cup of potatoes on most mornings... but I've also fallen in love with Dunkin' Donuts new flatbread breakfast choices. I eat a lot of salad but with healthier choices on the dressing... but if I really want one of the bad ones, I just use less of it.

The secret to my 12 pound loss in 23 days is that I am not going to kill myself by doing this... If I want something that is not healthy- then I have it. I just keep myself disciplined to work it off that day or the day after. I want to be healthy... I want to shop in stores without wondering if they have a "Misses" section. (For those of you that don't know... that is code for PLUS SIZES.)

My goal is 100 pounds this year... and so far, I am wayyyy ahead of schedule... but I am not going to slack off... I am going to do this.. because it is the best choice for me and my daughter.

No Worries

Ray

Liar- Liar- Pants On Fire

I feel like the last few months have been some sort of boot camp training for parenting in the teen years. I thought that I had nipped a few things in the butt (literally)... I thought we were done with the phase... but we're not.

I got Olivia's report card yesterday-- but I knew she got great grades so I let her go over her grandma's house before looking at it. Last night, I forgot to look at it... but today- the light bulb came on and I went to get it. I opened it up in some weird frenzy... I saw A... A... A... A... A... A... B. I didn't like the B- especially because she is not in gifted anymore... if you can get straight A's in gifted then you should ACE regular school. But, I didn't even have time to process all that information because my attention was drawn to the outer comment box....

"34 MISSING HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENTS"

I've got to be reading this wrong... I took another glance... Nope... my eyes are not deceiving me. I automatically assume that there is a typo. I call Olivia at her grandma's house to see what could have happened.

"Hi Mommy... whatcha doing?" Olivia's sweet little voice comes over the phone and I can't help but smile. I answer her question, "I just got done looking at your report card." She says, "Oh yeah?? Are you proud of me?" I now KNOW that this MUST be a mistake... as she had no fear in her voice.

I then begin to discuss the "typo" with her. I quickly realize that she is hiding something. She starts pausing when trying to answer my questions about homework. She agreed that it MUST be a typo. But, my mommy-dar went off and I continued to probe into her answers... then the story changes ever-so-slightly... but enough to tell me that she is not telling me the whole truth. I again ask about the homework but this time, I word it a little differently and throw in that I think I want to call her teacher on Monday... BAM... here comes the truth.

When I asked her every single day if she had homework she ALWAYS replied, "Yes, I did... but I already did it in school." I never thought that the words that were coming out of her mouth were lies. I never thought that MY daughter would lie straight to my face.... furthermore, I NEVER thought that she would be able to lie and I not know immediately about it. I was so wrong. I wish I wasn't... but I was so very wrong.

She lied to me. She lied every single day when she said she did it at school. She lied when she said she thought it was a typo... she lied when she said she MUST have thrown it out when she was cleaning the room... she lied... she lied... and she lied some more.

I am so mad... but more than that.. I am so hurt. I am disappointed. I have raised a liar? I'm not a liar... how could this have happened right under my nose? If this is any indication as to my parenting skills... I am in big trouble.

I've never dealt with this type of situation before. Ugh...

The silver lining? She missed 34 homework assignments and STILL managed to get all A's and one B. But I would rather her fail every class and be honest... but that may be just me.

No Worries

Ray

I've Given Birth To A What??

2011 is here. How in the world did we get here so soon? I remember trying to make deals with God when I was younger... "God, please let me drive a car before you come back... God, please let me graduate before you come back..." Now, I have my own 9 year old that is making the same deals with Him. It is the strangest feeling.

So, my daughter is now 9... as of New Year's Eve 2010.... and this is the last year in single digits. I look at my growing girl as she begs for "big girl" stuff. I couldn't bring myself to buy her a training bra... but her Grandma sure could. When my daughter put it on... well, she seemed like she was glowing. I try and think of a time that I LOVED wearing one... and I come up empty every time. I try and fling that thing off at every chance I get... geeze, a girl has to have some freedom, right? But not my lil one... she is so excited.

I understand that is isn't status quo for me to talk about my daughter or my undergarments... but I said all of that to say this one thing. My baby isn't a baby anymore. She will ALWAYS be my baby... but there is something about my child that is growing up... she is still a cuddle bug... she still tells me that she loves me... but I know that sooner or later she will become one of those crazy beasts I've seen on tv.... you know what I mean, right? A TEENAGER!!!!

I am NOT ready for this.... and I will end this entry like I do every other one... but believe me... I don't mean it this time.

No Worries

Ray